i've been lurking on this board all morning and reading all the articles about dating/having a relationship with a jw.
because, as many people seem to, i find myself in that situation.
i am confused becuase the jw guy is not a very consistent jw in a lot of ways.
you are compelled to try and convert the men you are in love with
Never said i was compelled to convert, I fell in love with the man that is a JW, I don't see a reason for either of us to convert unless we are convicted to do so. I do a lot of research on many things. I don't do things just because someone wants me to for the most part.
i've been lurking on this board all morning and reading all the articles about dating/having a relationship with a jw.
because, as many people seem to, i find myself in that situation.
i am confused becuase the jw guy is not a very consistent jw in a lot of ways.
All JW's fear death
If they fear death? Then why does it not bother them about not doing all they can when medically necessary to stay alive. The thoughts i am picking up are it is no big deal becasue they will live in paradise here on earth when the times comes?
i am reading the emotionally abusive relationship: how to stop being abused, how to stop abusing.. .
it has been an enlightening read to say the least.
i turned toward this topic due to ladylee's constant reminders that cults are simply another form of abusive relationship.. .
I am sorry if my words sting
Does not sting, We each have our opinions, views and interpretations of things, No one can fully understand what someone really believes or what they are feeling because reality is we are not living in their shoes. We sometimes think we can, because we have experienced similar things, but It just is not possible.
I do have some experience in the power of faith
I have many years in the power of faith, I was in the Baptist church until I was 12, Then went to pentecostal and non demoniational churches from 12 On. I have been in many teachings with renowned teachers, and preachers. I have dated guys that were catholic, methodist etc... I don't think there is one religion out there that is perfect and has all the answers, I take from them what checks from my understanding of the bible and what I get a check in my spirit. Even the WTS, Has some good bible qualitites, However unfortunately there are many cultic characteristics also the are far more outwaying than the few truths.
see how faith is misused by the Watchtower society and I see some of those same elements in you.
As far as faith being misused, I agree that some could see it that way, I also know the teaching and foundations I have grown up with, plus my own convictions. My Faith is in God and nothing else.
How old are you? Are you still of childbearing years, Serving this man may permanently deprive you of a family
I am 43 years old. I have five wonderful children ages 20, 18, 16, 13, and 10. My 18 year old has primary pulmonary hypertension and is waiting a double lung transplant. I had a tubal 10 years ago after last child ( big mistake) so therefore I can't have anymore children, unless God does a miracle. About serving this man, Serving a man is not a relationship, God does not intend for a man or a woman to serve one another, He made woman to compliment man. I am serving no man and the only person I do serve is God.
Before someon highlights my miralce comment, don't bother, I do belive in Miracles, my daughter is a walking one right now. Doctors can not figure out why she was not dead and how she walked into the hospital on her own two feet almost 4 years ago. He has done many mini miralces in my life I belive in a God that can do all this, If he were to give me the miracle of having another child I would welcome it with open arms.
i've been lurking on this board all morning and reading all the articles about dating/having a relationship with a jw.
because, as many people seem to, i find myself in that situation.
i am confused becuase the jw guy is not a very consistent jw in a lot of ways.
I mean, I know how I stand on most of those issues, but what I really want is him to question them himself. I know that the chances of my converting him are slim, but I don't think that giving up is a choice.
Wendy,
I am going though some of the same things you are. I agree with you about not giving up. I also agree with you when you said not to attack the religion. I refuse to do that. I have asked many people including my Baptist missionary aunt and uncle to pray for God to give me the wisdom that is needed. I have been critized for this statement on another thread, but I honestly believe God sent this they guy I have fallen in love with into my life. It is not an option for me to run. My prayer each morning is "God give him the peace he is seeking. Give me the stength and wisdom that is needed."
i am reading the emotionally abusive relationship: how to stop being abused, how to stop abusing.. .
it has been an enlightening read to say the least.
i turned toward this topic due to ladylee's constant reminders that cults are simply another form of abusive relationship.. .
Take for instance, Broken Hearted . She has deceived herself in to believing she has no choice, after only nine months in to a relationship! Frankly, her "faith" in her "sweetheart" seemed very cultic to me. She saw no alternatives
I don't believe that I have no choice, I do have many choices, I just choose not to walk away from someone I fell in love with just because he is in a religion I was raised to fear. The alternatives were to walk away and leave this man or stay and try to understand something I have no clue about. When I say leaving him is no option, it is becasue I know without doubt that GOD brought him in my life. People question this statement, and they can have opinions on this statement which is great , however, I am the only one that Knows my relationship with God, the teachings I have grown up with and the checks I get in my spirit. I am not a pesron that runs at the first hint of seeing something is going to be a stuggle. I am a fighter, and I stand steadfast. I look at this way, Many times we can take what someone says and without knowing the tone of how something is said on here, assume one thing. It funny, people ask questions all the time like why are you so negative about things, and then when a person is being optimistic and showing hope, they are preceived to be living in a fantasy or denial. finally the part about my faith being cultic, could be I don't know, from all the research I have been doing lately and reading the material here and other places, I am seeing that all organized religion has some cultic characteristics and no matter how much we want to believe that the beliefs we have are the right ones, We won't know until the end. ( My tone of thought here was clarifying, not anger or putting down of others)
either this has been going on for years and was never talked about or there is a rash of internet child porn, arrangements for sick underage sex, and family sex abuse.
i read 3 news events in the last couple of days with this constantly happening.
how sick!
the lawmakers are trying to crack down on offenders and the people in the state are pusshing for tougher laws, It amazes me how long it's taking for the recognisition to get something done.
I am new to this site and a Non-JW, This stuff has been going on for many years in all walks of life, I think like one of th posters posted is moral and immoral standards changing? Think about this, When my ex mother in law was 15 she was married. So that was the norm for some women back then, and my ex- father in law was 10 years older than her, Back then that was the norm, Today he would be slapped in Jail and be labeled a pedofile. Jump to Todays times, We have girls and boys knowing way more than they should about things You have both sexes throwing themselves at one another. Let me ask you this, If a 18 year old or more in this country dates anyone under 18, and they kiss, fondle or have sex, they are breaking the law and if mom or dad find out don't like the boy for any reason he is thrown in Jail and made to carry a label for the rest of his life. Or depending on either sex, lets say it is consenual between the both parties, but the one legally of age for one reason or another wants out of the relationship, the ohter one is hurt and wants to figure out how to make him/her hurt so they cry out molestations, etc... again this person is arrested and taken to jail and is labeled a pedofile the rest of his / her life. Where do we draw the line? I honestly belive that there should be tougher laws I have five children of my own, However I don't belive in the system that Floirda has where everyone has the same label just because of instances like i have brought up. I also think there should be some pentatlies to the so called victims too some times. These teenagers know what they are doing. Sometimes the vicitms are the person being labeled as the pedofiles. We have become a society where children are raising themselves, they are over educated in some areas of life and under educated in others.
And just for a bit of painful info, I was raped when I was nineteen by the pastor in my non denominational church. Charges never brought against him ( my doing) because i never turned him in, thinking it was my fault. However the bible says justice is mine sayeth the Lord and within a couple of years the church crumbled, He lost his house and vehilces, his wife found out, He had tried starting up a church a few years later and could not get it going.
There are many pedofiles out there in many religions, the internet and media we have today helps up learn quicker about these things in the past. While we want tougher laws and some states getting them where are the parents in all this also. another instance i will share, my ex and I had seperated I ended up moving out and getting an apartment my 2nd child get diagnosed needing a double lung transplant and as put in the hospital for 10 months in a city 2 hours from where I live. I was living in that city with my daughter, my ex ends up living with my ex best friend and my oldest daughter did not want to do that, He gave her permission to live in my apartment while I was away she was 17. Not only that he gave her persmission to allow her 18 year old boyfriend who lived 5 hours away to come down for the weekend at my apartment. I hit the roof, my ex says well I trust my daughter, and i retorted with I trust my daugher to but I don't trust the ragging hormones in side my daughter or him. We have to not set our children up.
Okay sorry to get long winded but some thoughts i had while reading this post.
i am a non jw, who has met a jw and we have been online chatting for last 9 months.
i have fallen in love with him.
he has been trying to push me away lately, and finding out one of the reasons is because of the religious background.
Not upset at opinions I have asked for. Long story how his ex wife found out about us, but she does know. He did not get busted for having an affair. Does not matter anymore anyway. He says we can only be friends so I am having to deal with the fact that A man says he loves me but can't be with me because I believe my way and not his. This hurts like crazy. I will not stop praying for him and a miracle. Thank you for those that posted There is just so much to this story and I can't post everything about it but I needed some vague opinions earlier.
i am a non jw, who has met a jw and we have been online chatting for last 9 months.
i have fallen in love with him.
he has been trying to push me away lately, and finding out one of the reasons is because of the religious background.
Why would "God" send you a married man,
forum thank you for your opinion, I want to state this man is not married, he did not cheat on his wife with me, and he as been divorced for over a year so not even an issue in this question for help.
i am a non jw, who has met a jw and we have been online chatting for last 9 months.
i have fallen in love with him.
he has been trying to push me away lately, and finding out one of the reasons is because of the religious background.
Send him cards, call him, be there for him. Be sicky sweet
I do this all the time he gets cards from me weekly along with gifts. I send emails and texts and he gets calls.
i am a non jw, who has met a jw and we have been online chatting for last 9 months.
i have fallen in love with him.
he has been trying to push me away lately, and finding out one of the reasons is because of the religious background.
I am a non JW, who has met a JW and we have been online chatting for last 9 months. I have fallen in love with him. He has been trying to push me away lately, and finding out one of the reasons is because of the religious background. Well his ex-wife this week turned him in to the elders ( by the way i don't understand a lot of this) So this morning he had to meet with the eleders about me. He informed them that we had been chatting and yes he does have feelings for me and because I was not JW he was backing off and that he advised me to contact my local Kingdom Hall to get someone to come over and explain thier religion to me and to ask them the questions and for them to explain what they belive.
First off I want to say I know God sent this man to me, Won't go into detail but I just know deep in my heart he did. I have not asked this man to change what he belives or even suggest for him to switch religions. I have done some rearch on the religion on the computer and Well i have many questions that just don't seem to add up. I don't belive you have to answer to elders because of the choice in a partner you might make. I have thought about letting them come over and talk to me but I am too independant and to opinionated I am affriad they would go running and then call the elders at the other kingdom hall.
I just don't know what to do. Walking away from this man is not an option. I pray for him daily and ask God to give him peace, at first it was becasue he was going through so much with other issues in his life, but lately I think that prayer could also be peace having to do with the religion. He quoted a bible verse to me yesterday Matthew 12:25 and in short a house divided will not stand, So then I say back to him that there are many ways for a house to be divided and to be united. You can agree to dissagree on some things in your life and as long as you are in agreement then you really are not divided. I feel here what makes this not work is having to answer to the elders. I have asked him why i had to talk to local Kingdom Hall and not him. Why can he not tell me what HE believes not someone in his religious orgazation. Of course he responded he is too emotionally involed with me.
Is there anything I can do? He was raised JW and I meant what i have told him about not asking him to change, to me that would be something he would have between him and God and because I did anything. Do I just keep praying for God to send him peace and cry my self to sleep nightly?
